I wish I said something else that last day, I wish I said
everything I thought of while being with you this short couple of days. I also
wanted my last five minutes to let you know how dauntingly comfortable I felt
around you, that even the occasional silence between us was meaningful, filled
with uncertainty, insecurity, and maybe a bit of desperation. But I did not
take my last five minutes. I lost them after walking away that day.
I wanted to show you all the love that is possible to fit into
a time table between ice breaking and your eager pursue to jump into emptiness,
but it just wasn´t enough. Every time I wanted to look into your eyes caress
your face and reply ¨yes my love¨ but I couldn´t grasp my courage. In a way I
didn´t want words to take the space and time I needed to feel and breathe your warm
skin, or to look into your eyes and tell you how much I love hearing your
voice, and that you gripping my hand felt just like being at home. I guess time
is too little for all that honest love.
I wish maybe one day I could wait for you at the bottom of a
cliff so you could jump into my sweet embrace. I think I know how much you
would love that and I can almost see you smiling back at me. And I would love
to have all the time to warm your nights with all my colours. We would have so
much time that we could even watch all the Disney movies we want and still
easily arrange to cipher both of earth´s skies. And I know you would love that
too.
But in the end I can only come down to tell you one single
wish, and that was the last thing I asked you before walking away that day…
Please take good care of yourself. Because most of all, I want you to keep that
expression of joy that only thin air under your feet is able to give you. And
that is defiantly what I would love the most.
...And I think my five minutes are
up.
